What is Going to Happen in Counseling?

You may have noticed the prominently displayed sign in my office. It says, “Free Speech Zone”, and I have pointed it out many times. It means that in my office, folks are invited to be direct, to be honest, and that there will be no judgment of them for revealing their “dark side”. In fact, in order for counseling to work its best magic, (I use the term “magic” loosely here; its effect is truly “Magic”) honesty is required. It is all that is required of clients in my sessions, that they be honest. That is my challenge to them, that they reveal who and what they really are.

We are likely to begin with some history. I ask lots of questions and almost always, by the end of the first session, my client and I can come to an agreement about what the problems are. We discuss a plan to address the problems. We find a mutually agreeable time to meet again.

The therapy has begun.

My clients and I create a relationship. I work to create an atmosphere that is safe. I may use humor, ask more questions, make comments. Sometimes, I share some of my own experience. As we progress, I often suggest new ways to approach situations and problems. Sometimes I teach my clients to breath differently and we might use other relaxation techniques. We talk. I listen. Sometimes I teach. Sometimes I will pray with my clients. I’ve been known to cry with them.

When I think a medication needs to be a part of the solution, I work with the client’s physician or make a referral to one of the many physicians whom I know. Sometimes I refer folks to a psychiatrist. I am a Registered Nurse, and always take an interest in what may be going on physically. Sometimes, folks need help with making their bodies healthier, and I do that too. Sometimes I recommend testing in order to help me understand more fully what is contributing to a person’s problems. When I do that, I share the results with the client.

I am trained in Imago Relationship Therapy and I use those techniques with couples that I see.  I believe that couples can step away from the edge of the cliff in a bad relationship if they are willing to do the work that it takes.  I believe it, even when a miserable couple can’t quite see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I believe enough for both of them until they can see it themselves. 

I have just described the work that I do.

No one who comes to my office will find comfort unless he or she is willing to accept that what they have been doing has not fully worked.  If you are seeing me for counseling, it is important to understand you will be faced with a challenge of doing something different in order to effect a change.  That is your job.